Most people
The quest to be superior to others is a dead end.
“If you do this thing, you’ll be way ahead of most people.”
I feel a wave of revulsion whenever I see this kind of rhetoric. I think it comes from the 79 years I spent as a teacher, where I operated based on a belief in the value and potential of every individual. My work was intentionally inclusive. The question was always, “How can we raise everyone up?”
So I don’t like the idea of appealing to someone’s desire to be better than other people: “You, reading this essay or watching this video! Through your taste and discernment, you have happened upon an opportunity to become better than everyone else! You are now the bearer of knowledge and insight available only to the chosen few. Enjoy your superiority, and be sure to use it as leverage to gain still more superiority as you move forward.”
Winning over “most people” just seems embarrassing when you’re implying that they’re all sheep. It’s like the fourth grader crowing about how easy his second-grade brother’s homework is. No one is impressed that you have the answers.
Of course, the world is full of people who want to get ahead at the expense of others —or without regard for the suffering of others. It’s cheap. Exploit your early advantage, then maximize profit, even if it’s at the expense of quality of life for your workers or fellow citizens.
At least in the past, the men who were able to pull this off would then spend the rest of their lives donating their immense wealth for the betterment of “society.” These days, the social pressure has eased, and they don’t bother. Instead, they do the things we read about in the Epstein Files.
A wealthy, successful person sharing “the simple habit that will put you ahead of most people” on social media seems generous, but it’s ultimately self-aggrandizing, and we don’t even get a library out if it.
Listen, it’s fine. I am purposely not naming names and criticizing individuals. I just want to start a conversation about this. There’s an important distinction to be made between self-improvement for its own sake versus gaining an edge over other people.
Of course, self-improvement for its own sake is a dead end, too. The real challenge of life is to connect and collaborate with others — the pesky “most people” that we encounter every day if we’re not living on a private island. Cold plunges and wilderness endurance trips are a walk in the park compared to spending a holiday with family or riding on a crowded subway.
Sharing secret information and tactics under the guise of dominance and advantage over others makes for a good hook and lends a cheap ego boost to those who engage.
But the broader quest to be better than “most people” — or worse, actually believing you’re better — is inevitably isolating and miserable. Posing in front of a three-way mirror isn’t the same as having lots of admirers. Having lots of admirers isn’t the same as having meaningful connections with fellow human beings.
And meaningful connections come from running with people, not just trying to outrun “most people.”
It doesn’t mean you can’t win! But your own best performance improves with a stronger field. What happens when you help “most people” get better?
If you invest in others, you’ll be way ahead of where you would have been if you didn’t.